This morning I was sad. See, I looked at Joey's Facebook again. I looked at it a couple days ago... and it said he was still in his relationship from 2 years ago. Now, to be fair, he doesn't use it or go on it. I think he thought it was deactivated. But it's not and I did bring it up. We talked about it and honestly, that should have been enough for me. This morning I went to check to see if it was still there, it was. It has only been 2 days so I'm not worried. But then I did something real dumb. I scrolled down. He posted something on their year anniversary. And then, despite the God given wisdom to scroll past it that was yelling at me, I read it. Bummer. He loved her. Which I knew, she broke up with him and it was hard for him. I knew that. As I sat on my bed trying to process how all that made me feel, wondering if his words meant less if he's said it to someone else, something really cool happened. Build my life by Housefires came on. This phrase specifically- "we live for you" jumped out at me. Oh man, this life is so not about me. I deleted all my social media awhile ago but if I hadn't there would be so many things in my past that Joey could compare himself to. But that was my yesterday, it amazes me how little Joey cares about that. He's looking ahead and I'm so grateful. I'm sure someday Joey will delete it... but even if he didn't, that's okay. If social media isn't honest it's not worth using. Today, I get to go to church and see Joey. He's going to talk about our trip to Tanzania and play an amazing video I got to watch him make. He's so cool, and he's so not mine to be jealous over. What a waste of time, to be jealous over a gift I've already received? I'm so thankful for his past, because it prepared him for our future. I'm thankful for all the ways God is going to use his experience with heart break in the lives of others. So I think I'll take the focus off me and refocus on the King. I trust God is working everything out. Even in something as small as a Facebook post. If nothing else, God is growing my confidence in all the healing He has given me. I'm so not jealous, it feels unreal. I could never have been at peace with this out of my own strength. This is all Jesus and I'm beyond grateful.